We're DOOMed

MF DOOM aka Viktor Vaughn aka King Geedorah is one of my very favorite rappers, and thankfully for this post his stuff translates to written word exquisitely. I will present to you my ten favorite DOOM lines in no particular order.

What makes DOOM truely stand out is his rhyming skills, and I mean this in the most literal sense. I don't mean his rapping skills, I mean the pure act of finding words and phrases that rhyme with each other. To do this well you must have a good brain and a lot of patience. It's easier to rhyme two phrases that have been rhymed before, but part of the art of making a rhyme is putting something together that makes sense where the listener is like, wow! How did he come up with that, and why didn't anybody think of that before.

A lot of people have trouble listening to DOOM. His voice is kind of monotone, his flow is kind of clumsy at times, and its hard to know what he's talking about most the time cuz he uses a lot of obscure figures of speech, but I feel some of the parts are so juicy and unusual its hard not to enjoy it. He can rhyme two phrases together, six syllables each and make it make sense. Another very neat thing is he'll spit the thuggist ghetto slang and he'll also spit the white-collar white people type of lingo. Both flow natural and joke off each other. Here we go.

"...Hell, I made it, Momma.

Grammy for the worlds most celebrated rhymer (pronounced 'rahma')..."

From "GMC," off Vaudville Villain

"...These crews is too soft.

He came to tear the roof off, to get paid to goof off.

They don't really wanna battle.

All they gonna do is get mad and go tattle..."

From "GMC," off Vaudville Villain

"...Border line skitzo. Sorta fine tits tho.

Pour da wine;

whore ta grind;

quarter ta nine;

lets go..."

from "Meatgrinder," off Madvillainy

"...Groovy Dude. Not to prove to be rude,

but this stuff is like what you might put on movie food

uh...what is Jalapeñas? Get it? like a woopin, when you holler at your señas..."

from "Great Day," off Madvillainy

"What up.

to all rappers shut up,

and once you shuttin up,

keep a shirt on, at least a button-up.

yuck!

Is they rappers or stripper males?

Outa work jerks, since they shut down Chippendales

They chippin' nails. DOOM tippin' scales

Let alone the pre-orders as counted off shippin' sales

This one goes out to all my people skippin bail, dippin' jail, whippin tail, n sippin ale

Light the doobie till it grow like a ruby

after that you can't find the Villain like Scooby..."

From "Beef Rap," off MM Food

"...Now you apologize. That's what they all say. You wasn't sorry when you sucked him off in the hallway..."

From "Fancy Clown," off Madvillainy

"...Don't mind me.

I wrote this rhyme lightly off of two or three heinies,

and boy was they fine, G!

One Black, one Spanish, one Chinee.

It keeps the woody shiny year round like a pine tree..."

From "Money Folder," off Madvillainy

"...They too carefree with they mouth around here.

Off with his head! and display it in town square

atop of seven feet spike

make sure its on tight

in light of when the peasants throw stones with all they might.

Skull gets smashed for weeks

till vulture beaks eats the last meat off the cheeks..."

From "The Fine Print," off Take me to your Leader

"...Viktor the director flip a scrip like Rob Riner

The way alota dudes rhyme, they name should be Knob Shiner

For a buck they'd likely dance the jig or do the hucklebuck

To Vik its no big deal. They just a bunch of knuckle fucks..."

From "Vaudville Villain," off Vaudville Villain

"...Listen, youth. Its like me holdin up the line at the kissin booth.

I took her back to the truck. She was uncouth.

Spittin all out the sunroof through her missin tooth..."

From "Doomsday" off Operation Doomsday